Growing up, did you ever think your parents were being too strict? Maybe you’re one of those strict parents, whether you admit it or not. But do strict parenting styles really deserve all the flack they get? The funny thing is, the science suggests that being a stricter parent can actually help foster better children.
Why Strict Parents Usually Have Better Children
You’re probably wondering: what do they mean by ‘better’? In a 2015 study published by the Institute for Social and Economic Research, University of Essex professor Ericka Rascon-Ramirez clarifies:
[The] measure of the expectations in this study reflects a combination of aspirations and beliefs about the likelihood of access to higher education declared by the majority of parents, in most cases the mother.
Between 2004 and 2010, Rascon-Ramirez studied a database of 15,500 schoolgirls aged thirteen or fourteen. She found that children who had strict mothers were more confident and secure. In addition to this emotional maturity, the frequency of premature pregnancies was 4 percent lower in teenage girls who had persistent and nagging mothers. As a result, children from families with strict parents – mothers especially – have a higher chance of finishing college, getting a good job, and finding general success.
In many cases we succeeded in doing what we believed was more convenient for us, even when this was against our parents’ will. But no matter how hard we tried to avoid our parents’ recommendations, it is likely that they end up influencing, in a more subtle manner, choices that we had considered extremely personal… What our parents expected about our school choices was, very likely, a major determinant of our decisions about conceiving a child or not during our teenage years.
In short, healthy parental pressure (i.e., setting high standards) can increase your child’s chance of going to and completing school, which ideally leads to a more successful life.
Parenting: How Strict Is Too Strict?
Every parent and adult planning on becoming a mother or father one day has asked themselves this question. How strict will I be as a parent? Studies exist where experts claim that strict parenting has minimal benefits for children. But with so many ‘experts’ on the topic, who do you believe – and put your child’s fate in the hands of?
Strict parenting, according to psychotherapist Philippa Perry, can turn your child into a liar (and an effective one at that). When a child lies, it’s not necessarily because he or she is a bad kid. Rather, the lies can come out of a co-created situation wherein the child feels unsafe telling the truth. Excessive discipline, putting pressure on a child to be perfect, or shaming them in front of other people can all contribute to this.
We do our kids no favors at all when we persecute them for lying. We can be curious about the lie, we can be interested in it, and look at our part in it. But being draconian and rigid about it is not going to make a situation better.
Read The Rest by opening the next page...