Steven was walking through his house, looking for his teenage daughter Anna. He was feeling down after watching his favorite team lose last night, and was going to suggest to his daughter that they go buy some ice cream together.
His daughter had been in her room upstairs a few hours ago, but now her shoes were missing in the hallway.
He walked up to her room, only to find the door open. On her bed, he saw a hand-written note.
This is what it said:
“Dear Mom and Dad,
I’m sorry to have to tell you like this, but I’m eloping with my new boyfriend Muhammad.
I’ve finally found true love, and he’s just great! I especially love his cute piercings, sexy scars, cool tattoos and his big motorcycle!
And that’s not all – I’m expecting a child with Muhammad, and I’m already three months pregnant. We’re going to settle down in his trailer, and he says that he wants even more children. I’m so happy!!! And guess what? We’re going to get married next week!
He’s also explained to me that weed isn’t as bad as some people make it out to be, so now we’re growing 17 plants behind our trailer. We’ll have enough for him and his friends, and in return, they’ll give us as many pills as we want.
I do hope that they find a cure for herpes soon, so that Muhammad can get better – he really deserves it. Don’t worry about money – Muhammad’s friends Juan and Stanislav are in the movie business, and they’ve arranged for me to become an actress!
The job pays pretty well, 50 dollars per take, and I get another 50 if there are more than three men in the same scene. So don’t worry about me – I’m 16 years old and can take care of myself.
The next time I come to visit, you’ll get to see your grandchild!
P.S. Dad, none of this is true – I only popped over to Emma’s place to watch some TV. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than The Patriots losing to The Eagles!
See you in a bit!”
See more: Daughter Finds Mom Having an Affair. Then Dad Calls.
“Hello. Hi Honey. This is daddy. Is mommy near the phone?”
“No daddy. She is upstairs in the bedroom with uncle Paul.”
After a short pause, daddy says: “but honey, you don’t have an uncle Paul.”
“Oh yes, mommy says I do and he is upstairs with mommy in the bedroom right now.”
After a short time daddy says: “Okay, then this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and scream that daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.”
“Okay daddy, just a minute.”
A few minutes later the little girl comes back on the phone.
“I did it daddy.”
“And what happened honey?” daddy asked.
“Well, mommy got all scared, jumped out of the bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. The she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn’t moving at all.”
“Oh my God!!!! And what happened to your uncle Paul?”
“He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water last week and cleaned it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he is dead.”
*Long pause …*
The daddy says,
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