If he isn’t that close to his mother
Men who grew up with mothers that did not show a lot of affection nor communicated their love regularly will tend to grow up struggling to be open in romantic relationships. They will still have respect for women in general and be able to create friendships with them, however, whenever things would get too close or a woman wants commitment from them – they will tend to get scared and create problems as a way to end the relationship.
These men were not used to receiving affection or love from their mother, therefore to receive it as well as give it to their partner is seen as new territories to them. If you are dating someone who isn’t that close to his mother, you might have a bit of a challenge ahead in terms of getting him to open up to you, to be vulnerable, and to be committed emotionally.
You might even have to prove your love to them because they might also lack in self-esteem or self-worth, which can be difficult if who you are looking for is someone that is already secure in themselves. It is not impossible to get men who grew up this way to learn to love and receive love, it will just take a bit more work from your end.
If he isn’t close at all and often does not like his mother
Men who grew up with mothers who did not show any form of love (or who even abused them) will grow up disrespecting women and doing what they can to cause pain to those who actually want to be with them. They like these will develop the perception that all women are no good and are only a source of pain because that was what he learnt from his mother growing up.
Men like these are the ones that continuously show disrespect to women closest to them and even those that they don’t know. In romantic relationships, they will do what they can to hurt you, betray you and destroy your self-worth as well as confidence. These are the type of men who you will end up having toxic relationships with. You may think you are in love with him because you see the potential he has to be a great partner, however in reality you find yourself getting hurt over and over again, because he simply does not know how to love you the way you deserve to be loved.
It is very difficult for them to learn to love because they themselves were deprived of love growing up. You cannot give what you did not receive yourself after all, right? If you are dating someone like this, understand that you cannot be the one to ‘change’ him as he must learn by himself to make peace with the past, his childhood and the mother that caused him so much pain growing up. You cannot give him what his mother should be giving him and that is definitely not your role.
It is good to pay attention not only to the way your partner treats his mother, but also the relationship that they have together. If your partner is very respectful to her, speaks kindly of her and to her, helps her out with things, listens to her opinion and still able to do all of the same things to you, then you have yourself a definite keeper. However, if you notice your partner having an unhealthy relationship with his mother, talks badly of her and to her, shouts at her and disrespects her, be wary of him. If a man could dare to disrespect his own mother, then he certainly will not have any qualms disrespecting you.
This post originally appeared on The bridestory
Sources: lessonslearnedinlifeinc.com, bridestory.com
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